


Ember Aka Nursey Is a Sap Who Writes Poetry

by wolfeyes21



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, through poetry!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-08-17 01:12:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfeyes21/pseuds/wolfeyes21
Summary: Just some Nursey Dex inspired poetry written by Nursey. Exploring something other than constellations.





	1. ember (first meeting)

You are a being of fire

leaking out in your actions

your flames 

in your hair

in your muscles

flickering with every stretch

every exertion

you

burn

and I get facefulls of smoke

still burning ash flicks my mouth

my face

stings me

how can I but return with my 

autum rain

chill

dampen that fire 

i flow by you

when we meet we sputter

your fire glows through your skin

embers scattered across your body

i want to flow over you

lessen the heat of your fire

you could burn the world

i won't let you

 


	2. Earth day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You remind me of home

When I look at you I see over my balcony  
The sad, trash filled stream trying to wind through  
People throw their oppinions into you  
Without care  
You could be beautiful  
Right now  
You smell  
You ruin my view  
A clash of trash  
A rash, an itch I can't get rid of  
Come earth day  
My friends will help me clean you up  
Till then  
Its just me  
Trying to keep new pollution from getting to you


	3. Licorice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exploration of desire and disgust through candy! And I determined that this is gonna be slow burn cuz I have a lot of ideas for vaguely insulting poems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for my birthday and my sweet tooth

Fuck  
You  
Are like licorice   
In theory you're sweet.  
You   
Are like lemon candy  
Delicious  
But if i eat too much, my tongue burns  
And yes  
I imagine you on my tongue  
Freckles like candy dots  
Maybe then your skin will be sweeter   
Than your attitude  
Or maybe it'll be like salted caramel  
You  
Are like caramel popcorn   
I think of you  
And I wish for improvements  
I want to devour you until there's nothing left  
But you  
Are like fucking licorice  
My standards won't let me enjoy you


	4. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex pain, and a little less hate!   
> A poem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for not posting, when I disappear it's because I have a truly stunning and unique combination of mental illnesses. Anyways, since things are about to get worse, here I am!

I am spread out beneath you  
Cold and hard  
Your blades slice into my skin  
Marking trails you've walked  
Hundreads of time before  
I bring you comfort  
But I am   
Not  
The one bringing you comfort  
I sit at the back of the stands and hide in shadows  
Watch you circle  
And circle  
And circle  
Pushing yourself to extremes I wish you never saw  
I saw  
Those patterns on your skin  
And if you wanted  
I could replace hate pain  
With my love  
Adoration is not always protection  
Desire to bite marks into you because  
I know  
Sometimes to keep whole  
You have to shake minutely apart  
If I could bring you comfort   
But your pale chill   
And my dark fire  
Splutter  
And I'll just watch  
You burn out


	5. Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's fall! Leaves are falling, and so is Nursey,,,, for Dex.  
> Further poetry  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thirst. The poem

Warm scarves and more cloth  
And red leaves and  
That one matches your hair and  
I do not pick it up and  
I do not save it  
It's harvest and fertility and  
not you  
I try not to think  
Pumpkins  
Throw their guts at you and  
each fresh face  
Sharper than the last  
I have to study  
But I want to study you  
Fingers curving around a knife  
I didn't know I'd like that  
See.  
Already learning  
I could study my syntax through the lines of your body  
If you'd let me  
I could learn new diction  
New words for the admiration  
Adoration  
Calculation  
You work on code and I  
Write about finding the equation of the curve of your back  
I don't want to get along best in silence  
When I'm so full of words


	6. Fight me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love every one of you who read this.

You told me that I didn't deserve anything I got

And I will fight you

You think you know anything about me?

cuz you know how the words lilt off my tongue

Perfectly

 but did you know what it's like being 

"soft"

i can express my rage on the ice

the manliness and aggression that expected of people

like me

being the black boy

what did they expect of me

You don't know anything about me

im smart

i swear I'm smart

and I know my desicions lead to happiness

but that doesn't stop my teachers from saying 

I'm so smart I could really make something of myself

be a doctor, a lawyer, someone that makes big bucks and helps people

who helps people when their souls are hurting

i don't want to have to be the one to

"break the stereotypes "

cuz I wanna write

i wanna reach out to people

be the one they come back to cuz they can say my words and see themselve

be that mirror for people who barely see themselves in the media

but I'm not "soft" 

Fight me

cuz when I'm on the ice I can be who I am

but not really

im the hockey bro

bro

hard like ice

dumb as a puck

like im not aching to write about the feel of ice 

during winter

like I'm not me

You don't even bother to know

me

like everyone when I read my poetry

 cuz a black boy cant write anything other than

his rage against the system of oppression

His words with a beat that can be chanted out

and yeah I know that.

and yeah I feel that

but goddammit I just want to write about you

fight me

cuz even when we're fighting I can't get you off my mind

fight me

cuz when you say I don't deserve this

i actually consider it

fight me

cuz dammit if even you can't see

fight me

cuz I'm angry and I'm hurting and if you can't comfort me the least you can do is

fight me


	7. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homework is evil

I'm tired  
My brain  
Is slipping  
I can't  
Concentrate  
I'm drowning  
In  
A pile of work  
And  
Expectations  
I  
Can't think  
I  
Need help  
I don't feel anything but tired right now  
Jesus  
When I get up  
I put on my face  
Chill   
Calm  
Not showing how I'm floundering  
How each breath requires concentration  
How I see but it's all fuzz and light  
I don't want to categorize it  
I  
Have been in my room  
For   
Too long  
I want the comfort of my words  
But I can't speak  
I'm too tired  
I'm taking breaks to write this  
This  
Because being myself is too hard right now  
I'm  
Tired  
People want  
Things  
I can barely remember how to breathe  
Sending thoughts to my fingers  
Is exhausting  
I can't think for myself right now  
How can I think for my teachers  
My friends  
I can't  
I just can't  
I'm going to stay in my room  
And remember how to breathe


	8. shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT BEGINS!!! aka nursey realizes he may no longer hate dex.

i dont like you  
i swear  
we argue  
we fight  
you refuse to see im right  
and yet i cant stop thinking of you  
the way we keep circling each other  
the way you will listen to me  
clean up my messes with me  
even if that is me  
i dont like you  
shit  
you dragged me out of my room to eat and socialize  
you always have my back  
i feel connected  
safe  
maybe you dont understand me  
maybe i dont understand myself  
because i swear  
i dont like you  
why would i like you  
youre annoying  
combative  
stubborn  
hot as hell  
i could give you my   
everything  
i would give you  
everything

fuck  
i dont like you

i  
love  
you


	9. longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> constellations  
> also this is for whoever wanted incredible sappiness

when i was a child  
i longed for something  
acceptance  
a place to wrap my   
body  
mind  
self around  
i looked at the stars  
points of brightness  
explosive power  
potent  
desirable  
gravity to pull me in  
i wanted a star of my own  
considered flying  
into them, among them  
you  
were flying  
speeding  
i saw you  
and i went supernova  
you are my gravity well  
my anchor point  
the treasure my dragon self curls around  
i could fly away  
but you bring me back  
always  
you are mine  
you are my star


	10. Breathing

Breathless  
I see your face and I never want to feel less  
A fucking mess, eyes flick over your body   
Its a race  
I need your acceptance  
I'm begging  
Let me be near you  
Benediction  
You, supported by conviction  
I see you staring at that laptop  
Frowning focused   
Your hands create miracles not only when   
You touch me  
Constantly learning   
Learn me  
I could teach  
Or learn  
I don't care  
You are my fresh air  
But now I'm breathless


	11. Tense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admit it. Everyone wants a massage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Ain't no one subscribed so I actually just update this whenever so like... here goes.

I see you   
Hunched over that laptop  
Draw those lines and  
Be god   
Over creation  
But I see the lines  
That cross your brow  
And I have to ask  
Jesus Christ aren't you  
Tense?  
I wish  
I could lay hand between your wings  
And untangle the stress you breathe  
But unfortunately   
I love your face when you are passionate  
Or angry  
And I don't bring relaxation with me  
But you desperately need it  
Fuck, but aren't you tense?  
A day of rest  
I worry  
That you don't think you are enough  
That you need to  
Prove yourself  
But you  
Create  
And god  
Took the seventh day to rest  
So I know  
But god  
You are so  
Tense


	12. Flight

I am by your side  
And I am soaring  
Connection heart deep  
I feel like I know you  
In all aspects  
Walk with you wherever  
Fight with you whenever  
I am always by your side  
Your teeth are sharp   
But so are mine  
And this tearing feeling  
May not be only in my mind  
With you  
I am  
Flying  
Higher  
Exceeding what I thought  
Were my limits  
Together  
I think  
I hope  
We improve each other  
Fly higher  
Skate faster  
This is why  
I am always by your side


	13. hate

i will spit in the face of those who tell me to forgive

when they say it is a useless expenditure of energy

i will shove my excess energy into their face

nervous jitters pushed into scorching anger

boiling along my bones

as if when i restrain myself, every minute of every day

there is no buildup

no restlessness

no desperate need to do something,

anything

to feel myself, completely

and i hate

and i burn

and i channel energy

productively

when hate makes my mask more genuine

when i can hate an opponent

a team

and not only the entire system tying me to a character

to a façade thats burning on the inside

maybe forgiveness is a gift

a relief

but not me

im not asking for a break

a rest

a lack of burden on my shoulders

i can hate

and seethe

as my choice

as my energy

as my chill


	14. drunk

trying to write my story is like  
capturing a symphony  
except i never learned piano  
or music theory  
trying to express myself  
is like a laser grid  
anxiety and society  
conecting a bright red light im  
ducking and weaving to avoid.

i want to  
break down my barriers with  
this solvent  
want to  
free my limbs from chains  
and dance  
want to  
free myself from

this time  
and this body  
want to feel eternal  
free  
ephemeral  
a glistening glowing streak  
want to stay in a moment   
want nothing  
i want nothing  
but right now  
drunk as fuck  
coarse and smooth  
content in my complexity  
and free


	15. ideal

your ideal state is burning

your ideal state is bruised and bloody

triumphant and defensive

a thrill from anger satisfied

your ideal state is an ember

a campfire - 

in the dead of winter

the inevitable unending battle between temperature

the feeling of warmth sweetend by the surrounding chill

 

my ideal state is watching you

My ideal state is watching you

Pen in hand  

words flowing from my lips, from my hand

a dance forever,

the artistic drawing of a beautiful world,

appreciating the shape and sharps of life. 

 

my ideal state is my hands on your body

complexities transcribed from the universe

onto its most perfect canvass

the synchronicity

it's unity, it's warmth and cold, me and you

my ideal state is us

 

 


End file.
